Embracing a New Perspective
by Matt Franzen, Athletics Director
I was a first-year volunteer football coach in September 1996 when I observed my first team exercise in the field of domestic assault and sexual violence. Following an incident from the prior spring, the coaching staff decided to bring a presenter from the local branch of Spouse Abuse Sexual Assault Crisis Center (SASA). The presentation to our college football team was fairly predictable until the end, when team members were invited to share their stories.
The two most memorable were one from a freshman who used the opportunity to brag about how he took care of a guy with bad intentions back home. “To this day, he walks with a limp,” was unfortunately the most memorable line from the evening. The other was a new transfer who shared a time where he had to rely on an older woman for food and lodging and was in a situation where he felt powerless to decline her unwanted advances.
Unfortunately, most of us found each situation comical. The first story was told by a braggadocio 18-year-old trying to impress his new teammates with his version of heroism. We were fairly sure he embellished the ending. The second story was told by a 6’4”, 250-pound division one transfer who was dominating pre-season practices. He was very courageous to share his story but most of us weren’t in a place where we were comfortable hearing it.
25 years later, things have changed somewhat. Somewhat. There are still folks who view healthy masculinity as a physically imposing man protecting a helpless young lady or simply as chivalry. However, more and more people are willing to hear and process the story of a young man becoming a victim and to have meaningful conversations in this area.
The work that we do at Doane with our Engaging Men Campus Athletic Project is largely generational. What I mean by that is that with each generation, this material becomes easier to talk about and more young people carry a genuine interest in making our communities safer and more respectful places for everyone to live. I believe that old stereotypes and preconceived notions are on a slow decline.
As April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I hope that all of us feel empowered to take a more productive approach to difficult conversations and unhealthy situations than my 24-year-old self did. It is our duty. Even during today’s new normal of social distancing, we have opportunities to do the right thing in how we react in virtual conversations and in what kinds of material we choose to post, share, like or re-post on our social media accounts. We can also choose what kinds of unhealthy content we decide to speak against, squash, or simply shut down. One day soon we will have the opportunity to be back together in person and we all need to be ready to get it right, the first time!
The blog posts in Forward. Together. are intended to foster an inclusive community of empathy and curiosity at Doane University by providing a glimpse into various individual identities and worldviews. These are community members’ unique stories and should not be presumed to be the experience of all who share the same identity.
