Growing Up Between Two Worlds: American Indian and White
By Suzanne Mealer, Equity Compliance Officer (Title IX Coordinator)
Growing up as both American Indian and white has been a big part of shaping who I am. My life has been a balancing act between two different worlds, one rooted in my American Indian heritage and traditions, and the other in a mostly white, rural town. Living in these two spaces taught me a lot about identity, resilience, and finding a sense of belonging.
Before moving to the reservation, my family, my mom, siblings, and I lived in a small rural town. We were the only minorities in the community, and everyone knew we were American Indian. This made us easy targets for teasing and discrimination. The jokes and stereotypes we faced were constant reminders that we didn’t belong, and they left me feeling small and alone at times. I often felt out of place, like I didn’t fit in with the world around me. Although it was hard, those experiences taught me how to be strong and keep going, even when I felt unseen or misunderstood.
When I was 16, we moved to the reservation, and everything changed. For the first time, I was surrounded by people who shared my culture and heritage. I felt a deep connection to the land, the ceremonies, and the community. It was a relief to no longer feel like an outsider. I felt proud of my American Indian roots in ways I hadn’t before. But even on the reservation, fitting in wasn’t always easy. I have light skin and didn’t grow up there, which sometimes made me feel like I didn’t fully belong. I felt like I had to prove myself to be accepted by others, even among my own people.
Balancing these two worlds has been both challenging and enlightening. In the small town, my heritage set me apart in difficult ways. On the reservation, my whiteness occasionally made me feel like I didn’t fully belong. But moving between these spaces helped me embrace all parts of my identity and taught me how to draw strength from both experiences to move forward.
Before my mom passed away, she gave me advice that has stayed with me: “Continue to fight for our people.” Her words have given me purpose and direction in my life. I’ve realized that my experiences in both worlds have uniquely prepared me to do just that. I can navigate spaces outside the reservation and use my voice to advocate for our community, while also honoring the traditions and values that my mother and ancestors passed down to me.
Being both American Indian and white has taught me that belonging isn’t about fitting into one group or another, it’s about fully embracing who you are and using your experiences to make a difference. My mother’s words remind me to carry the strength of my ancestors forward. Living between these two worlds hasn’t always been easy, but it’s a gift I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.
The blog posts in Forward. Together. are intended to foster an inclusive community of empathy and curiosity at Doane University by providing a glimpse into various individual identities and worldviews. These are community members’ unique stories and should not be presumed to be the experience of all who share the same identity.
