More Than Just a Reflection: The Joys and Challenges of Being a Twin
By Sandy Koll, Director of Advancement Data Services at Doane University
Being a twin is more than just having a sibling; it’s having a built-in best friend, a partner-in-crime, and a constant companion on life’s journey. As the older twin by a minute, Susie and I occupy the middle between our older sister, Jamie, and younger brother, Kane. But within this family dynamic, we carved out a unique space — a space defined by shared experiences, playful pranks, and an unbreakable bond.
Our childhood was a playground for our twin-ness. Middle school became a stage for elaborate switcheroo acts, where we’d effortlessly trick teachers by slipping into each other’s classes. But the fun wasn’t always planned. Mornings sometimes resulted in near-identical outfits, where Susie had to make last-minute outfit changes.
Family members, understandably confused, resorted to cumbersome double names like “Sandy-Susie” or “Susie-Sandy.” Even Kane, for a while, believed our combined name was Sandy-Susie! There’s a fond memory Susie remembers about Mom asking for nearby scissors. Mom kept calling out, “Sandy, will you hand me the scissors?” Susie simply ignored the request. It wasn’t until Mom addressed her as Susie that the scissors were finally retrieved.
Despite the occasional identity crisis, being a twin has fostered an incredibly strong bond. Susie is more than just my sibling; she’s my confidante, my “evil twin” (though secretly, I’m probably the “evil” one!), and my constant companion. We’ve experienced life’s milestones side-by-side, from celebrating our 21st birthdays at the same bar to facing the not-so-glamorous first mammograms together. We turn ordinary into extraordinary by simply sharing it with each other. Our “30 Before 30” list, a collaborative dream board of experiences we conquered together, is a testament to this. Here’s hoping our “50 Before 50” list becomes another epic adventure.
We were pregnant at the same time, her first and my last! We commemorated the occasion with a photo shoot, of course. Once, we were crowned the 1992–93 Wilber Czech Princesses together with twin princes– a double dose of royalty. We’ve even swapped dresses halfway through a wedding reception. Our boyfriends at an uncle’s wedding fell victim to our trickery when dressed identically as candlelighters. When trying on wedding dresses, we tried on dress choices for each other; our body doubles being better than a mirror to see how we would look. She was my maid of honor, and I was hers — a testament to the deep connection we share.
However, there were times when I craved my own identity. We look at old photos of us that aren’t labeled, and we make guesses about who is who, sometimes both guessing the same person. I even looked in a mirror once and saw Susie’s reflection — so strange that I refused to look in a mirror the rest of that day. When I was younger, I yearned to break free from being seen as half of a duo. College offered a fresh start, a place where nobody knew me as “part of Susie.”
The funny thing is, even now, we still end up dressed alike, sometimes by accident, sometimes by plan. Our family still gets confused, resorting to detective work to figure out who’s who — they might use family or car arrival cues, hairstyle, or even glasses to differentiate us. But these moments are a reminder of the powerful bond we share. It’s a connection built on shared experiences, a dash of mischief, and a lifetime of laughter. Who knows, maybe we’ll get to confuse our grandkids someday, carrying on the tradition of a little friendly twin trouble.
The blog posts in Forward. Together. are intended to foster an inclusive community of empathy and curiosity at Doane University by providing a glimpse into various individual identities and worldviews. These are community members’ unique stories and should not be presumed to be the experience of all who share the same identity.
