Why We Say Yes
by Megan Failor, Director, Office of Residential Life and Education
“You might be temporary in their lives. They might be temporary in yours. But there is nothing temporary about the love or the lesson.” — Tonia Christle
Becoming foster parents was not something my husband Josh and I talked about or even considered when we got married in 2011. Then, in September of 2014, we were unexpectedly given an opportunity to say yes. In the blink of an eye we went from having zero children in our home to two children under 2 when we agreed to become what is known as a Kinship Foster Placement.
To say our lives changed dramatically in a very short time frame is an understatement. We soon learned about stacks of paperwork that never seemed to shrink, people we didn’t know coming in and out of our home, and multiple court dates. Not to mention we were learning how to navigate our new roles as foster parents to two tiny humans who needed us to show up for them more than ever. While we initially received support for our decision from our family, friends, and jobs, as time continued to pass those offerings of support often turned to frustrations. However, from my perspective, Josh and I only continued to become better advocates for the children in our care.
When these children left our home in the summer of 2015, it didn’t take either one of us long to decide we wanted to continue as foster parents and become a fully licensed foster home. Thankfully, we had had a wonderful experience with the agency who had been assigned to support us during our Kinship Foster Placement and continued our foster care journey with them.
Since our journey started in 2014, we have had several children in our care. Some for a short period of time and some for longer. It’s not uncommon to receive a call in the middle of the night asking if we are open to taking a new foster placement with little to no background information. When people find out we are foster parents they often say things like, “I don’t know how you do it.” Or “How do you say yes so quickly? I could never do that.” For Josh and me, we firmly believe that being vulnerable enough to say yes can offer an opportunity for a family to receive support that will have a lasting impact. We say yes to providing a safe and nurturing environment. We say yes to being in the corner of individuals who are often voiceless. In reality, the difficult part isn’t saying yes, it’s having to say no instead.
May is Foster Care Awareness Month and as I reflect on my journey as a foster parent, I am filled with gratitude. I am also reminded more help is always needed, particularly in times of uncertainty like now. If you have any interest in getting involved in the foster care system, please contact your local Department of Health and Human Services. All it takes is one yes.
The blog posts in Forward. Together. are intended to foster an inclusive community of empathy and curiosity at Doane University by providing a glimpse into various individual identities and worldviews. These are community members’ unique stories and should not be presumed to be the experience of all who share the same identity.
